We wanted to explore how caring for others and being cared for can affect mental wellbeing, and how mental wellbeing in turn shapes people’s experiences of using NHS services.
We wanted to:
- Hear what people of different ages have in common and where experiences differ.
- Understand what helps or gets in the way of using NHS services.
- Collect practical ideas for NHS England to improve services.
The focus was on how NHS services work and how easy they are to access, not on medical crises or diagnoses. These top 10 tips are the result and a useful tool for all NHS staff.
Recognise people as carers
- Ask carers how they are, not just the person they care for.
- Remember that care is a shared experience. If the carer struggles, so does the cared-for person.
“We’re a unit. If one of us isn’t okay, neither of us is.”
Support carers to look after themselves
- Give carers space and time to attend appointments, rest, and manage their health.
- Avoid assuming they can cope without support.
“I got home and realised I hadn’t eaten, slept, or drunk anything.”
Listen and involve people in decisions
- Include both the person being cared for and the carer in conversations.
- Don’t assume you know what’s best, ask and explain choices clearly.
“The decision was already made before I’d even spoken.”
Make services simple and joined up
- Reduce repeated storytelling by sharing information between teams.
- Have a single point of contact where possible.
“There’s no one person responsible, so in practice, no one is.”
Consider emotional wellbeing
- Understand that stress, anxiety, and overwhelm make access harder.
- Be patient, gentle, and flexible when people are struggling.
“When you’re overwhelmed, booking an appointment feels impossible.”
Be mindful of digital access
- Offer alternatives to online forms, apps, and remote appointments.
- Check that people have the tools, confidence, and time to use digital services.
“So much information is demanded that older adults especially disengage.”
Avoid assumptions based on age, labels or disability
- Don’t dismiss symptoms as old age, autism, or other labels.
- Listen to what people say about their experiences and needs.
“As soon as they see autism, everything gets put down to that.”
Recognise young carers
- Identify young carers early and offer support beyond age-based cut-offs.
- Value their knowledge about the person they care for.
“Young carers often know more than professionals from 24/7 care, but are not listened to.”
Small human actions matter
- Kindness, listening, continuity, and small gestures make a big difference.
- Check in, offer reassurance, and create a safe space for people to talk.
“They treated me like a real person, that made all the difference.”
Think intergenerationally
- Many challenges are the same across ages. Solutions should work for all.
- Encourage shared learning between younger and older people.
“Different ages, same barriers.”
Remember
Supporting carers, considering mental wellbeing, and showing human kindness is just as important as clinical care.
Small changes in how we interact and organise services can make NHS access easier, fairer, and more compassionate for everyone.
About the sounding board
We facilitate the Older People’s Sounding Board on behalf of NHS England. They are a diverse group of people over the age of 50 who are passionate about improving health services for older people.
